Saturday, June 16, 2007

Strange people need love too

My mom told me the other day that when I was a really little kid I would always get this look on my face that very clearly said "I'm thinking of something really bizarre and it's HILARIOUS!" I still get that look sometimes. Mom says I've always had that odd sense of humour.

This comment was prompted by my telling of something that amused me at work last week. The music on the radio is usually Top 40 stuff, most of it fairly current but occasionally they'll play some fantastic music from the '50s/'60s/'70s. Anyway, I was straightening some swimsuits that our lowlife customers had fucked up when "The Space Between" by Dave Matthews came on the radio. Just as Dave was singing "...the space between..." I happened to glance left and was visually assaulted by a woman with ginormous breasts and a very, obscenely low-cut tank-top. Her cleavage was deep and cavernous and could probably swallow a small child or at least a gerbil. As I was blinded by this horrific the background, "...the space between..."


Brief comment on Dave Matthews: I don't know why everyone thinks he's awesome. All his songs sound alike and his voice sounds like he's constantly chewing on marbles. He's tolerable, I guess, for a song or two, but I can't figure out why he's popular.

That's all the blogspace I'm willing to devote to Dave Matthews.

I went to the library today. I ended up with a few books and two CDs that could not be more different from each other. One CD is "Once In A Red Moon" by the Norwegian group Secret Garden. It's like Celticy-folky-acoustic-new age stuff. Like Enya, except it doesn't suck. The other CD I got is "Freak Out!" by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention. Umm...I won't even try to explain that one. Music nerds will know (and beat me with sticks, I'm sure).

Frank Zappa cracks me the fuck up. I don't always like his music, probably because I'm not really used to it, but the man was a damn genius with a great sense of humour. Unfortunately, he named his kids stupid things like Moon Unit and Dweezil. Seriously, man. That's what nicknames are for. The names of your children are not the appropriate forum for you to show off how unique and quirky you can be. This goes for all parents, celebrity or not.

Speaking of asstacular baby are some, um, gems I've come across recently:

Mackyndsea (what the flying fuck?)
Mckaylee (because I want my daughter's name to sound like it came from the dollar menu)
Kyleaha (phonetically unreasonable in seven billion languages!)
Latoria (nothing says "cheap hooker" like...)

I don't have the emotional fortitude right now to compose a manifesto on naming atrocities...but it will happen, eventually, I promise.

On an entirely different note, many tiny seed beads have found their way onto wire in the past couple days. Most of these wires have been twisted and shaped into flower petals, and most of these flower petals have been gathered together and resemble flowers. Hooray for me.

Tomorrow I "get to" work from 2-close, which translates approximately to 2-8. Hey, whatever, it's a way to pass time. I'm cool with that. Farz's countdown is at 64 days. My countdown is stuck at "forever." Well, sort of. Officially it's 2 months and one week until move-in day at the apartments. I can't bloody wait.

Fun fact: In first grade, my bus driver threatened to "flip the bus over" if we misbehaved. I was, understandably, terrified.

Fun lie: Most zebras speak Portuguese.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

I should vacuum.

I was feeling particularly irritable today after work, so I only hung out downstairs for half an hour or so before I escaped to my room to play with beads. I created some odds and ends--a leaf, a tiny flower...just a bunch of pieces, nothing that fits together. I really should try to do those beaded anemones (as in flowers, not sea creatures) because there needs to be something in my bouquet other than roses and wildflowers. I mean, I guess I am in the process of creating an iris, but I'm not sure how well that's going to fit into the bouquet. I'm a bit skeptical about it, honestly. It seems like an iris would be more of a focal point than something to blend in with a bouquet. I don't want a focal point. The bouquet itself is a focal point!

I have been trying to find more of the dark purple seed beads I've been using (I think they're Blue Moon, could be wrong). I know Michaels has them, or rather they do when they're in stock. I found beads at Hobby Lobby that looked like the right colour, but I took them home and...damn. They're silver-lined. The ones I'm looking for don't have the silver lining. So even though the beads don't match up, it's still okay because that means I have another colour to work with...I just, you know, really need those other ones. has a wonderfully tempting selection of colourful wire. If I had money to spare (which I guess I sort of do, even though I do need to be saving everything for the school year) I would get 26-gauge wire in many different colours. That site is really excellent. I've spent hours there before, just browsing all the crystal beads and expensive handmade things.

Speaking of expensive things, during my lunch breaks I've been going over to Guitar Center, and I think I've fallen in love with a certain 1972 Telecaster. That happens to be $650. Oh, and a certain Fender amp that happens to be...also very expensive. Also a baby Taylor acoustic guitar that's $200 but that's still too expensive for me right now. I would love to get a baby acoustic guitar. My hands are so ridiculously tiny that a baby guitar might be a good idea. Then again, in comparing the baby Strat with the regular-sized one...I'm more comfortable on the regular one, surely because I'm just used to it. So hell, I don't know. I'm more comfortable on an electric than an acoustic; I do know that. I haven't played my guitar all that much lately, to be honest...probably because I love playing plugged in and my cable doesn't work anymore...that should probably be my next purchase, actually. But can the purple beads really wait? Hmm.

1:30. Definitely should get to bed. Waking up in 8 hours for another fun-filled day of work at Value City. Booooo.

Fun fact: Sufjan Stevens' version of The Beatles' "What Goes On" from the original. Not that I really care. I don't particularly like either version.

Fun lie: Sufjan Stevens was born with three pinky toes.


Saturday, June 2, 2007


I made three petals today AND prepared the stem wire for the rose. I feel accomplished...and exhausted. I got to straighten things at work tonight. Much better than cashiering. It gives me an opportunity to be alone for awhile AND be a little obsessive-compulsive. I enjoyed it...well, as much as I can, you know?

Talked to both Kate and Farz today. Hooraaayyyyy!! I must admit I'm getting a bit of a nervous feeling about the whole apartment thing...but I know it's all things I don't need to worry about. I'm worrying about the whole "third wheel" thing, fitting in, being included, being wanted, blah blah blah. My typical neuroses, right? We've talked about this. I don't need to worry about it anymore. For real this time.

Mom made spaghetti tonight. My internal dialogue as I walked into the house from the garage:

"It smells like Italian food. I bet Mom made something Italian."
"Um, doesn't it always smell like Italian food around here?"
"Oh right. Well, let's see."

And I was correct. This is good and bad. Good because I love spaghetti. Bad because I need to be losing weight, not eating! Haha. Something like that, I suppose. Boo.

Looks like it's Low Self-Esteem Night here in Clarkieland. This must stop. In the meantime, I need to go to bed. I'm too tired even to come up with fun facts and lies. Wow. Goodnight.

Friday, June 1, 2007



I woke up at ten bloody o'clock this morning, after finally falling asleep around 4:30am. Yet somehow I'm not tired yet. It's probably the caffeine.

I have all these little seed beads all over the place (I knocked the lavender ones over last night in an attempt to avoid a centipede) and I just know they want me to thread them onto a length of 26-gauge wire and form them into a rose petal...but I'm just not motivated enough for that. Roses take forfuckingever to complete. I can do a tiny little wildflower in just a couple hours, but roses? Damn. They do end up looking pretty awesome though, and I need a bunch more to fill up my bouquet. This rose especially is going to be gorgeous. I have two shades of purple that are pretty similar, but one is darker...the petals are mostly the light colour with one row of dark along the edge. I've found that I like that look a LOT. I did a red wildflower the other day, light red petals with crimson edging. It is adorable.

I would love to make a French beaded flower barrette. I have to wear red, black, or white to work, but I think I can pretty much accessorize however I want. I wore my crazy beaded headband yesterday (it's like 18 inches of inch-thick peyote with a purple ribbon to tie it) and nobody yelled at me for failing to conform to corporate standards. Therefore, I would like to show up to work with a beaded flower in my hair. Not today though, because I'm unmotivated.

Okay. Two petals. I'm going to do two petals.

And then, you know it, I'm going to have to go to work and I won't want to stop beading.

Work 4-close tonight. That translates to approximately 4-10:30. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Fun fact: Not only is Diet Coke Plus delicious, it has vitamins and minerals so that means it's GOOD FOR YOU. Also, the bottle cap is a really great turquoise colour.

Fun lie: Seven people died in the making of "The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars" when the Brave Little Toaster, high on cocaine, incinerated the makeup crew and three bystanders.

Farewell, blogworld.

An awkward intro

Since this is my Official First Post, I figure I should probably give a general rundown of who I am, why I'm here, and perhaps some other assorted things. There really isn't a good way of doing this without it being all awkward and corny, so I guess I'll dive right in.

I'm a 20-year-old college student. Right now, since it is summer vacation (boooo), I spend most of my time as a cashier at Value City. Today was my second day, so I guess I'm not qualified to say whether or not it sucks. So far, so good. The pay isn't too bad. When I'm not working, I'm usually stringing beads. Well, sort of. I do quite a bit of beadwork, not all of which involves actual string. This summer my big project is a bouquet of French beaded flowers that will serve as a decoration somewhere in my apartment in August. I'm pretty excited for the apartment, by the way. I'm going to be living with my two sisters/best friends (to clarify, we're very close friends who consider each other sisters), Kate and Farzana. They're wonderful people, I promise.

Other things about me...I'm kind of a nerd. There is that. Oh, and I'm a lesbian. Not the raging bull-dyke kind, and not the trendy-punk kind either. And certainly not the hippie-vegan kind. I guess I'm just a regular girl who happens to like girls. I don't have a girlfriend; in fact, I've never dated. It's been kind of hard to find people to date here in the middle of the Bible Belt, you know? Speaking of the Bible, as an awkward segue, I am a Christian. That's right: I'm a lesbian AND a Christian. Shall I be burned at the stake now or later? I don't know how much I'll be writing about things relating to religion, though. It's kind of a private thing for me. I'll see what I can do. I guess if it's on my mind, I'll write about it. Probably.

As for family and friends and things...for now I live with my parents and three younger siblings. Brian's 17, Julie's 15, and Amy's 12. Also we have a psychotic 6-year-old Bichon Frise who once ate half a chocolate cake. I already mentioned my friend-sisters, Kate and Farz. I still keep in touch with a few high school friends (Brittany, Navah, Nayt, etc.) because they're cool people. I've made some excellent friends in college as well (I would list names but there are about a billion, and I'm not trying to leave anyone out, but it's 3am and I really need to get to bed soon).

Come to think of it, oh shit. I have an optometrist appointment tomorrow at 11:15, which means waking up at 9:30, which is in...6 1/2 hours. I am going to die.

I've been in Greenwood for just about 4 weeks. Only about 11 or 12 more until I get to move back to Bloomington. It can't come soon enough.

This post was really, really awkward. I promise I don't always write like an eighth-grader.

Fun fact: When I was six years old, I collected empty toilet paper rolls and drew people on them. Once I brought them to school for show-and-tell.

Fun lie: William Howard Taft had venomous fangs and a three-inch tail.

That is all. Goodnight and love to all.