This is why we can't have nice people (xkcd)

My brain and my body are in two totally different places today and it is freaking me out. I feel like I have no idea what to do with my body. How to position it. Nothing feels right. Tonight I couldn't figure out what to do with my arms--where to put them, etc. Same with the rest of my body. It is a different feeling from just being restless, though. Sometimes I feel restless and keep moving around because I feel like I need to be moving, or because I just get squirmy...everyone gets that, right? But this is different, this is like I have no good sense of where my body is in space and I have sort of forgotten how to work it. Blah. I hope it'll have gotten better by morning, and especially by tomorrow night--I'll need to be coordinated enough by tomorrow night to play the violin! Woo!

I've spent the weekend organizing my iTunes library and music folders. See, my main music folder was super-chaotic because I had a lot of duplicate and incomplete files. So I deleted a bunch of stuff--a long project because I had to see what each individual file was--and then cleaned up iTunes a lot...oh man. It was long but OH MY GOD it feels so good to have my iTunes library looking all pretty and organized! And in that process I rediscovered some music that I hadn't listened to in forever. I was reminded of just how much I love Death Cab for Cutie. And Ben Folds. And Jean-Jacques Goldman. And....music.

In other news, the beaded stargazer lily I mentioned in my last post is actually starting to look like a real flower. I have all the petals and stamen-thingys done, so everything from here on out is in green beads (leaves, sepals, beaded stem, etc). Meaning, the fun part is done. Haha. Maybe not totally done. The structure of the flower itself is kind of iffy. I've been trying to lace the petals together, but how do you do that without it looking like ass? Sigh. Maybe I'll wait to see if the beaded stem gives it any more stability.

I'm pretty satisfied, though, with my flower-designing ability. I looked at a beaded flower book the other day--the Carol Benner Doelp one--and although there were a lot of patterns, the examples looked kind of half-assed. Maybe that was an artistic thing, an issue of style and preference. Her rows were very loose, which made all the petals look like strings of beads instead of solid flower petals. But again--maybe that was intentional? I just feel like the construction of my flowers is a lot stronger and more realistic. I love Donna DeAngelis Dickt's patterns--I learned most of my basic techniques from her book, and I tend to stay pretty faithful to her rose pattern. Maybe one of these days I'll write my own book. I'm going to have an awfully hard time describing my stargazer lily pattern, though. "3 PTPB petals, except the top is more P than the bottom (add extra beads to the basic wire at random), start with dark red and gradually fade into white, but careful with your proportions and don't forget to randomly sprinkle purple beads throughout! do the same with the three smaller PTPB petals, except don't do the random bead-adding thing, just start with a 2" basic, and for the love of God allow for more wire than you think you'll need. A lot more. Then when you're done and panicking about how none of the petals stay in place, lace the three bottom (smaller) petals together and they will magically support the bigger petals, but don't touch it, ever. Ever."

I'll hire a ghostwriter to write my patterns.

I love the fact that Garou is dating Lorie. French pop, anyone? No? Okay. I also love that Lorie's real first name is Laure. What I don't love is most of Lorie's music. Oh well.

Today I wore about a billion bracelets. I felt awesome. I used to do that--the billion bracelets thing--a few years ago, and then I sort of started forgetting to wear bracelets. Boo. I'm going to try to start again, because even though I know it is sooooo middle-school-emo, it feels awesome and looks so.very.ME. (note to self: CPK! CPK! tadjeu! owa tagu siam)

Bedtime? Hey, what the hell.